Archive for the ‘my story’ Category

Defending what you shouldn’t.

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

A while ago I got a letter from a lawyer. That lawyer is a friend of my false accuser. I had notified my false accuser, after seeing her career choice as an advocate for rape victims, that I found her career choice ironic. The lawyer sent me a big bully lawyer letter, meant to intimidate me. Of course, I knew he had nothing because (as several lawyer friends of mine have said) I have a good understanding of the law for a lay person.

Well, I did some research on this lawyer to see what he was all about. He is a lawyer who has focused on fighting child abuse and rape. So it is no shock that he would happen to know my false accuser as they are in the same field.

Then the irony came. In the discussion about the video about raising males to be  good men, I had made several points in response to the MRA at “a voice for men“.  Look at that site for the name “Roger Canaff”. He actually defended a post of mine (I posted there under lj4adotcomdan). Well, can you imagine the shock that I had when the person who wrote the big mean lawyer bully letter would then defend me? I thought two things. He was either stalking me and seeking to bait me OR he really had no clue that i was actually the same person he had mailed months prior.

Well, he also started a topic of discussion on his blog to discuss that video.  I responded, asking if he realized the irony of his defense of me. He could never figure it out until I told him. Well, once I did, he removed all my posts from his board.

Fortunately, that last link contains a screen shot of my last post. How can a guy who claims to stand up for victims be supportive of someone who would make false accusations about sexual assault? For a supposed defender of victims, he is sure defending something (or someone) here that he should not be.

My story, the short short version.

Sunday, January 16th, 2011

Day 1: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl are never alone. Girl always has a friend of hers in the same room.

Day 2: After a few hours apart, girl finds boy again and asks the friend of the boy to leave the room so they can be alone.

Day 3: Girl claims that boy sexually assaulted her on day 1.

I was fortunate. I was never actually charged with a crime. The police officer in the case stopped writing the report in the middle of a sentence. It is likely the next sentence was going to be that she went back to see me the next day.Why would someone who was raped go back to see her rapist the next day? And how could I have possibly sexually assaulted her if we were never alone and she always had friends with her. It makes no sense.

The days between the claim and the news that I would not be charged were some of the hardest days of my life. However, the experience has also impacted me for life. Whenever someone makes a false accusation of sexual assault, those memories come running back to me.

So, on top of all the other reasons to have this blog,  I hope that this blog helps me to finally get some healing over this issue and perhaps other people in the same situation can get some healing as well.